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The Blog

The daily, and somewhat random, musings from Ben. From the journeys, to the vlogs, to the behind-the-scenes-into-the-world moments.

Filtering by Tag: essay

Letting Go | An Essay by Brandon Roberts

Ben Ashby


Brandon Roberts

Journal Entry Vol.2 #21
Wednesday, July 20th, 2016 12:41pm
University of Montana Soccer Field, Missoula, MT

When I really start over and hand everything over to God or whatever it is, it is so scary and my immediate reaction is to control the situation. I know, always, what the right answer is, because I’ve tapped into my inner compass. It’s boils down to wanting to save my ass and face at the same time. I can’t. I have to pick one. No matter what it is, it’s scary. The big things always are and even the small stuff.



Morning Coffee

Ben Ashby







The morning came fast, we had photographed until dark the day before. We began in Seattle and worked out way towards the coast. Stops at Crescent Lake and Forks, and a very long hunt for props and supplies and coffee made our arrival to La Push, Washington very late. We pulled into town as the sun was setting on the horizon. We ran towards the driftwood and rocks to capture the most magical glowing orange light. As darkness swept across the ancient lands of the Native American tribe that lives in La Push we remembered we had yet to find a hotel for the night. 

Along the shore were rows of A Frame cottages. We assumed the red neon sign proclaiming No Vacancy was accurate, but we checked anyways. We were rewarded with the final cabin. No TV, no phone, no wifi, and no cell service were the price we'd have to pay for sunrise views of the Pacific. 

As the sun began to rise I pulled out my camera and began to snap images of Brandon as he prepared his morning coffee. I had already been along the shore for the first hints of the morning greys and pale blues, but by the time I returned a soft light had filled the tiny cabin...





Bumbling Around

Christophe Chaisson


Honeybees are perhaps the most beneficial and enchanting insects that grace the planet with their sweetness. One of the most beautiful, thought provoking characteristics of these tiny, efficient workers is their sense of purpose and belonging. The Hive is a vital aspect of not only their survival but a key component to the very essence of their being. 

In this regard, I am filled with envy matched with pity for the bees. As a twenty year old, who has lived a life not aligning to the manual society gave me, a sense of belonging is an earnest desire of my heart. Sense is actually too weak of a word to use to describe the deep ache inside of me that cries out to belong. I want to live in a state of belonging with a hive of my people toiling day and night towards a united goal. Not a specific goal, but one of love, hope, and acceptance. Unlike the bees, who seamlessly harmonize and know their specific purpose, me and so many others have had to wrestle and search for our purpose, place and identity. 

Yet, that wrestle is where my pity for the bees resides. Never in their lives do they have to question what they are doing or who they are. There is no choice, simply instinct. In the midst of the struggle is where I have discovered unimaginable beauty and community through the questions and pain. Not once was I the only lone vagabond embarked on a journey of discovery, I met others along the way. Not one story or person was identical, still compassion, connection, and empathy abounded binding us together. My identity is unique solely to me; my purpose is not clear-cut ingrained on the forefront of my mind, instead Life has presented me with an option to chose what gives me purpose. I can chose money, status, sports, followers, materialism, anything either positive or negative as the fuel that runs my life. What I have found fills me with purpose is The Hive that I went out and discovered. They also discovered me and chose me. Community that chooses to know me, embrace me, and challenge me are the ones who I call my Hive. At the end of day we are all just bumbling around together trying to make the world a sweeter, more fragrant place.